Infantilization and Agency
I recently learnt in class about infantilizing and how it drives down agency in the individual. Infantilize is defined as "to treat or regard as infantile or immature". If the word infantilize is what it means, then as you grow older the reverse should be true, which is that you experience more freedom in society and hence exhibit more agency. Is that happening?
The website howinfantilizedareyou.com lists 142 actions by others that infantilize you, also listed below this article, but how about the more subtle ones that we take for granted. Here are some subtle ones to consider:
- parents tell their children everything they have to do
- teachers dictate every step to be taken during class
- school instruction is didactic
- children have no play and social time
- employees are handed down instructions on what the product requirements are
Schools are infantilizing when student access to software on laptops are restricted (Reisinger, 2016). A recent article in the Washington Post talks about how the bureaucracy of administration infantalizes college students (Strauss, 2017). Jonathan Haidt, a social psychologist, talks about how as women get educated, birth rates plummet, each child is prized and so parents feel compelled to exert more control over their kids. This is happening in elementary school and at home (Marano, 2014).
A parent blogs about the infantilizing practice of restroom tour in elementary and high schools (C, 2012). Robert Epstein's commentary in Education Week (Epstein, 2007) says that surveys he conducted suggests that today's teenagers are subjected to 10 times as many restrictions as mainstream adults, to twice as many restrictions as are active duty U.S. marines or incarcerated felons. Infantalization is ascribed to as the reason for the decrease in student resilience (Cummins, 2016). Colleges and universities protect anything that could make their students feel uncomfortable thus infantilizing these young adults (Morris, 2016).
Infantilization occurs in technology as well. Business stakeholders drive requirements in any mainstream methodology like Agile (Dee, 2016). Umair blames the infantilization to geeks and urges them to grow up. Growing up is defined as, at a minimum, acknowledging your flaws, admitting your fragility, recognizing your weaknesses, your frailty, your humanity, to yourself (Umair, 2016). Star Trek's Simon Pegg blames the infantilization on sci-fi movies (Matyszczyk, 2015)! High technology products are geared for the infantilized self (Singer, 2015).
In the workplace lousy managers treat employees like children, which results in them behaving so (James, 2011). A psychoanalyst explains how the need for approval is the most powerful and almost exclusive motivation for ethical judgment among employees. This is exploited by the authoritarian form of ethics of a corporation (Joseph, 2015). The feeling of being infantilized is one reason that good employees quit (Marr, 2017).
A Texas college instructor asks why not shift cultural reinforcement towards a desire for self respect, self control and self worth? (Texas college instructor, 2014). How do you achieve that? How do you help people grow up, to acknowledge their own flaws, admit to their fragility, recognize their weaknesses, in other words develop self knowledge, so that they can respect themselves and respect others? We could start with eliminating infantilization in the environment. Can the concept of self knowledge apply to organizations? Would such a thing be in the form of a Zero Infantilization Tolerance (ZIT) policy? Can such a policy reduce the rules placed on students and employees and thus help them grow up?
What of the person itself? Assume for a moment that Zero Infantilization Tolerance policy is followed everywhere. It would help in situations such as the schools, colleges and corporations and the hope is, it would help the person itself, in the long run. Nancy Kline has developed a philosophy of communication, called The Thinking Environment (Kline, n.d.). There are steps one can take to stop toxic parenting (Fiffer, 2014).
1. Reisinger, C. (2016). The Open Schoolhouse. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://theopenschoolhouse.com
2. Strauss, V. (2017, May 27). Analysis | How today's college students infantalize themselves. Retrieved from https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/answer-sheet/wp/2017/05/27/how-todays-college-students-infantilize-themselves/?utm_term=.1efe0aec09c0
3. Marano, H.E.. (2014, October 14). Where Did Colleges Go Wrong? Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/nation-wimps/201510/where-did-colleges-go-wrong
4. C. (2012). A Blog About School: Educating = infantalizing. Retrieved from http://ablogaboutschool.blogspot.com/2012/08/educating-infantilizing.html
5. Epstein, R. (2007, April 04). Let's abolish high school. Retrieved from https://www.edweek.org/ew/articles/2007/04/04/31epstein.h26.html
6. Cummins, D (2016, August 29). Column: What is making students less resilient. Retrieved from https://www.pbs.org/newshour/economy/making-sense/student-resilience-time-low
7. Dee, J. (2016, June 28). Written things: The Infantilization of technology. Retrieved from http://graphenta.blogspot.com/2016/06/the-infantilization-of-technology.html
8. Haque, U. (2016, April 08). The Infantilization Economy - Bad Words - Medium. Retrieved from https://medium.com/bad-words/the-infantilization-economy-4c9417abbd9
9. Matyszczyk, C. (2015, May 19). Sc-fi movies are infantilizing us, says Strar Trek's Simon Pegg. Retrieved from https://www.cnet.com/news/sci-fi-movies-are-infantilizing-us-says-star-treks-simon-pegg/
10. Singer, Natasha. (2015, April 18). Technology that prods you to take action, not just collect data. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/19/technology/technology-that-prods-you-to-take-action-not-just-collect-data.html
11. A texas college instructor. (2014, October 15). On higher education and infantilization. Retrieved from https://thepoetsglass.com/2014/10/15/on-higher-education-infantilization/
12. James, G. (2011, February 23). The Six Toxic Beliefs That Lousy Bosses Love. Retrieved from http://www.businessinsider.com/the-6-toxic-beliefs-that-lousy-bosses-love-2011-2
13. Joseph. (2015). A Psychoanalyst Explains How Corporations Infantilize People. Retrieved from http://piratesofdestiny.com/a-psychoanalyst-explains-how-corporations-infantilize-people/
14. Marr, B. (2017, February 27). 6 reasons great employees quit. Retrieved from https://www.cnbc.com/2017/02/27/why-great-employees-quit.html
15. Segal, J. (2016, February 19). Care For, But Don't Coddle, Millenials. https://talentculture.com/care-for-but-dont-coddle-millennials/
16. Kline, N. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.timetothink.com/thinking-environment/
17. Fiffer, T. (2014, August 18). 10 Simple Steps to Stop Toxic Parenting. Retrieved from https://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/10-simple-steps-stop-toxic-parenting-fiff/
142 actions listed in howinfatalizedareyou.com:
*1. Listened to, read, or viewed your private communications?
*2. Tried to restrict your communications?
*3. Tried to send you to your room?
*4. Tried to give you a time out?
*5. Tried to cut off your money or credit?
*6. Tried to limit your ability to drive?
*7. Tried to make you drive?
*8. Tried to take away your personal property?
*9. Damaged or destroyed your personal property?
*10. Tried to prevent you from leaving?
*11. Searched your room?
*12. Searched your belongings?
*13. Violated your privacy?
*14. Tried to restrict your use of the Internet?
*15. Tried to restrict your television use?
*16. Tried to restrict your access to videos, CDs, books, or other media?
*17. Tried to prevent you from getting a tattoo or piercing?
*18. Tried to make you get a tattoo or piercing?
*19. Tried to make you cut your hair?
*20. Tried to make you to wear your hair a certain way?
*21. Tried to prevent you from wearing makeup?
*22. Tried to make you use makeup or wear it a certain way?
*23. Tried to stop you from using perfumes or colognes?
*24. Tried to make you use perfumes or colognes?
*25. Tried to prevent you from wearing certain clothing?
*26. Tried to make you wear certain clothing?
*27. Tried to stop you from contacting or associating with certain people?
*28. Tried to make you contact or associate with certain people?
*29. Spanked, paddled, or hit you (other than in play)?
*30. Insisted that you lower the volume of your music or stop making noise?
*31. Tried to restrict your social activities?
*32. Tried to make you participate in certain social events?
*33. Tried to make you to have an abortion?
*34. Tried to prevent you from having an abortion?
*35. Tried to prevent you from smoking?
*36. Tried to make you smoke?
*37. Tried to prevent you from drinking alcohol?
*38. Tried to prevent you from using drugs?
*39. Tried to prevent you from taking medication?
*40. Tried to make you drink alcohol?
*41. Tried to make you use drugs?
*42. Tried to make you take medication?
*43. Tried to prevent you from eating?
*44. Tried to make you eat?
*45. Tried to make you travel?
*46. Tried to prevent you from traveling?
*47. Tried to make you work?
*48. Tried to prevent you from working?
*49. Tried to make you get a job?
*50. Tried to make you quit a job?
*51. Tried to make you shower or bathe?
*52. Tried to prevent you from showering or bathing?
*53. Tried to make you engage in sexual acts?
*54. Tried to restrict your sexual activity?
*55. Tried to make you cook?
*56. Tried to prevent you from cooking?
*57. Tried to make you clean?
*58. Tried to prevent you from cleaning?
*59. Tried to make you do household chores?
*60. Tried to stop you from doing household chores?
*61. Tried to silence you?
*62. Tried to make you speak?
*63. Tried to subject you to a curfew?
*64. Tried to make you do yardwork?
*65. Tried to prevent you from doing yardwork?
*66. Tried to make you go to bed?
*67. Wouldn't let you sleep?
*68. Tried to restrict your dating activities?
*69. Tried to make you date someone?
*70. Tried to make you attend school?
*71. Tried to stop you from attending school?
*72. Tried to make you quit school?
*73. Tried to make you get certain grades?
*74. Tried to make you take certain courses?
*75. Tried to make you enter a certain profession?
*76. Tried to prevent you from entering a certain profession?
*77. Tried to make you see a therapist?
*78. Tried to prevent you from seeing a therapist?
*79. Tried to make you see a medical doctor?
*80. Tried to prevent you from seeing a medical doctor?
*81. Tried to make you have surgery?
*82. Tried to prevent you from having surgery?
*83. Tried to make you undergo shock therapy?
*84. Tried to prevent you from undergoing shock therapy?
*85. Tried to make you undergo some other extreme medical treatment?
*86. Tried to admit you to a treatment facility?
*87. Tried to prevent you from entering a treatment facility?
*88. Threatened to have you arrested?
*89. Examined the contents of your computer or other electronic device?
*90. Tried to make you participate in religious activities?
*91. Tried to stop you from participating in religious activities?
*92. Tried to make you join a religion?
*93. Tried to prevent you from joining a religion?
*94. Tried to make you exercise or play certain sports?
*95. Tried to prevent you from exercising or playing certain sports?
*96. Tried to prevent you from entering certain areas of your home?
*97. Tried to restrict your hobbies?
*98. Shouted at you?
*99. Insulted you?
*100. Pushed you?
*101. Blocked your way?
*102. Physically restrained you?
*103. Tried to control your diet?
*104. Tried to kick you out of your bed or bedroom?
*105. Tried to kick you out of your home?
*106. Tried to make you live somewhere you didn't want to live?
*107. Tried to take your money?
*108. Tried to make you give him or her money?
*109. Tried to stop you from viewing pornography?
*110. Tried to make you view pornography?
*111. Told you how to spend your time?
*112. Tried to hurt you physically?
*113. Shouted orders at you?
*114. Threatened you?
*115. Tried to make you commit a crime?
*116. Tried to make you join or quit a gang?
*117. Tried to stop you from joining or quitting a gang?
*118. Tried to make you join or quit a group or organization?
*119. Tried to stop you from joining or quitting a group or organization?
*120. Tried to make you harm someone?
*121. Bribed you to do something?
*122. Demanded you do things you shouldn’t have to do?
*123. Contacted you frequently to check up on you?
*124. Demanded you contact him or her frequently?
*125. Used electronic devices to track your location or spy on you?
*126. Tried to make you hurt yourself?
*127. Tried to prevent you from helping someone?
*128. Tried to make you help someone you didn't want to help?
*129. Tried to make you marry someone?
*130. Tried to prevent you from marrying someone?
*131. Humiliated you in front of other people?
*132. Ignored what you had to say?
*133. Blamed you for things that weren’t your fault?
*134. Tried to make decisions for you?
*135. Tried to make you move faster or slower?
*136. Told you how to drive?
*137. Made you feel inferior?
*138. Spread rumors about you?
*139. Corrected you?
*140. Manipulated you?
*141. Criticized you?
*142. Made you feel guilty?
The website howinfantilizedareyou.com lists 142 actions by others that infantilize you, also listed below this article, but how about the more subtle ones that we take for granted. Here are some subtle ones to consider:
- parents tell their children everything they have to do
- teachers dictate every step to be taken during class
- school instruction is didactic
- children have no play and social time
- employees are handed down instructions on what the product requirements are
Schools are infantilizing when student access to software on laptops are restricted (Reisinger, 2016). A recent article in the Washington Post talks about how the bureaucracy of administration infantalizes college students (Strauss, 2017). Jonathan Haidt, a social psychologist, talks about how as women get educated, birth rates plummet, each child is prized and so parents feel compelled to exert more control over their kids. This is happening in elementary school and at home (Marano, 2014).
A parent blogs about the infantilizing practice of restroom tour in elementary and high schools (C, 2012). Robert Epstein's commentary in Education Week (Epstein, 2007) says that surveys he conducted suggests that today's teenagers are subjected to 10 times as many restrictions as mainstream adults, to twice as many restrictions as are active duty U.S. marines or incarcerated felons. Infantalization is ascribed to as the reason for the decrease in student resilience (Cummins, 2016). Colleges and universities protect anything that could make their students feel uncomfortable thus infantilizing these young adults (Morris, 2016).
Infantilization occurs in technology as well. Business stakeholders drive requirements in any mainstream methodology like Agile (Dee, 2016). Umair blames the infantilization to geeks and urges them to grow up. Growing up is defined as, at a minimum, acknowledging your flaws, admitting your fragility, recognizing your weaknesses, your frailty, your humanity, to yourself (Umair, 2016). Star Trek's Simon Pegg blames the infantilization on sci-fi movies (Matyszczyk, 2015)! High technology products are geared for the infantilized self (Singer, 2015).
In the workplace lousy managers treat employees like children, which results in them behaving so (James, 2011). A psychoanalyst explains how the need for approval is the most powerful and almost exclusive motivation for ethical judgment among employees. This is exploited by the authoritarian form of ethics of a corporation (Joseph, 2015). The feeling of being infantilized is one reason that good employees quit (Marr, 2017).
A Texas college instructor asks why not shift cultural reinforcement towards a desire for self respect, self control and self worth? (Texas college instructor, 2014). How do you achieve that? How do you help people grow up, to acknowledge their own flaws, admit to their fragility, recognize their weaknesses, in other words develop self knowledge, so that they can respect themselves and respect others? We could start with eliminating infantilization in the environment. Can the concept of self knowledge apply to organizations? Would such a thing be in the form of a Zero Infantilization Tolerance (ZIT) policy? Can such a policy reduce the rules placed on students and employees and thus help them grow up?
What of the person itself? Assume for a moment that Zero Infantilization Tolerance policy is followed everywhere. It would help in situations such as the schools, colleges and corporations and the hope is, it would help the person itself, in the long run. Nancy Kline has developed a philosophy of communication, called The Thinking Environment (Kline, n.d.). There are steps one can take to stop toxic parenting (Fiffer, 2014).
1. Reisinger, C. (2016). The Open Schoolhouse. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://theopenschoolhouse.com
2. Strauss, V. (2017, May 27). Analysis | How today's college students infantalize themselves. Retrieved from https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/answer-sheet/wp/2017/05/27/how-todays-college-students-infantilize-themselves/?utm_term=.1efe0aec09c0
3. Marano, H.E.. (2014, October 14). Where Did Colleges Go Wrong? Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/nation-wimps/201510/where-did-colleges-go-wrong
4. C. (2012). A Blog About School: Educating = infantalizing. Retrieved from http://ablogaboutschool.blogspot.com/2012/08/educating-infantilizing.html
5. Epstein, R. (2007, April 04). Let's abolish high school. Retrieved from https://www.edweek.org/ew/articles/2007/04/04/31epstein.h26.html
6. Cummins, D (2016, August 29). Column: What is making students less resilient. Retrieved from https://www.pbs.org/newshour/economy/making-sense/student-resilience-time-low
7. Dee, J. (2016, June 28). Written things: The Infantilization of technology. Retrieved from http://graphenta.blogspot.com/2016/06/the-infantilization-of-technology.html
8. Haque, U. (2016, April 08). The Infantilization Economy - Bad Words - Medium. Retrieved from https://medium.com/bad-words/the-infantilization-economy-4c9417abbd9
9. Matyszczyk, C. (2015, May 19). Sc-fi movies are infantilizing us, says Strar Trek's Simon Pegg. Retrieved from https://www.cnet.com/news/sci-fi-movies-are-infantilizing-us-says-star-treks-simon-pegg/
10. Singer, Natasha. (2015, April 18). Technology that prods you to take action, not just collect data. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/19/technology/technology-that-prods-you-to-take-action-not-just-collect-data.html
11. A texas college instructor. (2014, October 15). On higher education and infantilization. Retrieved from https://thepoetsglass.com/2014/10/15/on-higher-education-infantilization/
12. James, G. (2011, February 23). The Six Toxic Beliefs That Lousy Bosses Love. Retrieved from http://www.businessinsider.com/the-6-toxic-beliefs-that-lousy-bosses-love-2011-2
13. Joseph. (2015). A Psychoanalyst Explains How Corporations Infantilize People. Retrieved from http://piratesofdestiny.com/a-psychoanalyst-explains-how-corporations-infantilize-people/
14. Marr, B. (2017, February 27). 6 reasons great employees quit. Retrieved from https://www.cnbc.com/2017/02/27/why-great-employees-quit.html
15. Segal, J. (2016, February 19). Care For, But Don't Coddle, Millenials. https://talentculture.com/care-for-but-dont-coddle-millennials/
16. Kline, N. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.timetothink.com/thinking-environment/
17. Fiffer, T. (2014, August 18). 10 Simple Steps to Stop Toxic Parenting. Retrieved from https://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/10-simple-steps-stop-toxic-parenting-fiff/
142 actions listed in howinfatalizedareyou.com:
*1. Listened to, read, or viewed your private communications?
*2. Tried to restrict your communications?
*3. Tried to send you to your room?
*4. Tried to give you a time out?
*5. Tried to cut off your money or credit?
*6. Tried to limit your ability to drive?
*7. Tried to make you drive?
*8. Tried to take away your personal property?
*9. Damaged or destroyed your personal property?
*10. Tried to prevent you from leaving?
*11. Searched your room?
*12. Searched your belongings?
*13. Violated your privacy?
*14. Tried to restrict your use of the Internet?
*15. Tried to restrict your television use?
*16. Tried to restrict your access to videos, CDs, books, or other media?
*17. Tried to prevent you from getting a tattoo or piercing?
*18. Tried to make you get a tattoo or piercing?
*19. Tried to make you cut your hair?
*20. Tried to make you to wear your hair a certain way?
*21. Tried to prevent you from wearing makeup?
*22. Tried to make you use makeup or wear it a certain way?
*23. Tried to stop you from using perfumes or colognes?
*24. Tried to make you use perfumes or colognes?
*25. Tried to prevent you from wearing certain clothing?
*26. Tried to make you wear certain clothing?
*27. Tried to stop you from contacting or associating with certain people?
*28. Tried to make you contact or associate with certain people?
*29. Spanked, paddled, or hit you (other than in play)?
*30. Insisted that you lower the volume of your music or stop making noise?
*31. Tried to restrict your social activities?
*32. Tried to make you participate in certain social events?
*33. Tried to make you to have an abortion?
*34. Tried to prevent you from having an abortion?
*35. Tried to prevent you from smoking?
*36. Tried to make you smoke?
*37. Tried to prevent you from drinking alcohol?
*38. Tried to prevent you from using drugs?
*39. Tried to prevent you from taking medication?
*40. Tried to make you drink alcohol?
*41. Tried to make you use drugs?
*42. Tried to make you take medication?
*43. Tried to prevent you from eating?
*44. Tried to make you eat?
*45. Tried to make you travel?
*46. Tried to prevent you from traveling?
*47. Tried to make you work?
*48. Tried to prevent you from working?
*49. Tried to make you get a job?
*50. Tried to make you quit a job?
*51. Tried to make you shower or bathe?
*52. Tried to prevent you from showering or bathing?
*53. Tried to make you engage in sexual acts?
*54. Tried to restrict your sexual activity?
*55. Tried to make you cook?
*56. Tried to prevent you from cooking?
*57. Tried to make you clean?
*58. Tried to prevent you from cleaning?
*59. Tried to make you do household chores?
*60. Tried to stop you from doing household chores?
*61. Tried to silence you?
*62. Tried to make you speak?
*63. Tried to subject you to a curfew?
*64. Tried to make you do yardwork?
*65. Tried to prevent you from doing yardwork?
*66. Tried to make you go to bed?
*67. Wouldn't let you sleep?
*68. Tried to restrict your dating activities?
*69. Tried to make you date someone?
*70. Tried to make you attend school?
*71. Tried to stop you from attending school?
*72. Tried to make you quit school?
*73. Tried to make you get certain grades?
*74. Tried to make you take certain courses?
*75. Tried to make you enter a certain profession?
*76. Tried to prevent you from entering a certain profession?
*77. Tried to make you see a therapist?
*78. Tried to prevent you from seeing a therapist?
*79. Tried to make you see a medical doctor?
*80. Tried to prevent you from seeing a medical doctor?
*81. Tried to make you have surgery?
*82. Tried to prevent you from having surgery?
*83. Tried to make you undergo shock therapy?
*84. Tried to prevent you from undergoing shock therapy?
*85. Tried to make you undergo some other extreme medical treatment?
*86. Tried to admit you to a treatment facility?
*87. Tried to prevent you from entering a treatment facility?
*88. Threatened to have you arrested?
*89. Examined the contents of your computer or other electronic device?
*90. Tried to make you participate in religious activities?
*91. Tried to stop you from participating in religious activities?
*92. Tried to make you join a religion?
*93. Tried to prevent you from joining a religion?
*94. Tried to make you exercise or play certain sports?
*95. Tried to prevent you from exercising or playing certain sports?
*96. Tried to prevent you from entering certain areas of your home?
*97. Tried to restrict your hobbies?
*98. Shouted at you?
*99. Insulted you?
*100. Pushed you?
*101. Blocked your way?
*102. Physically restrained you?
*103. Tried to control your diet?
*104. Tried to kick you out of your bed or bedroom?
*105. Tried to kick you out of your home?
*106. Tried to make you live somewhere you didn't want to live?
*107. Tried to take your money?
*108. Tried to make you give him or her money?
*109. Tried to stop you from viewing pornography?
*110. Tried to make you view pornography?
*111. Told you how to spend your time?
*112. Tried to hurt you physically?
*113. Shouted orders at you?
*114. Threatened you?
*115. Tried to make you commit a crime?
*116. Tried to make you join or quit a gang?
*117. Tried to stop you from joining or quitting a gang?
*118. Tried to make you join or quit a group or organization?
*119. Tried to stop you from joining or quitting a group or organization?
*120. Tried to make you harm someone?
*121. Bribed you to do something?
*122. Demanded you do things you shouldn’t have to do?
*123. Contacted you frequently to check up on you?
*124. Demanded you contact him or her frequently?
*125. Used electronic devices to track your location or spy on you?
*126. Tried to make you hurt yourself?
*127. Tried to prevent you from helping someone?
*128. Tried to make you help someone you didn't want to help?
*129. Tried to make you marry someone?
*130. Tried to prevent you from marrying someone?
*131. Humiliated you in front of other people?
*132. Ignored what you had to say?
*133. Blamed you for things that weren’t your fault?
*134. Tried to make decisions for you?
*135. Tried to make you move faster or slower?
*136. Told you how to drive?
*137. Made you feel inferior?
*138. Spread rumors about you?
*139. Corrected you?
*140. Manipulated you?
*141. Criticized you?
*142. Made you feel guilty?
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